Maybe This Time It'll Stick

I'll admit it, I'm not an organized person.

Now, as many people I know, including but not limited to my husband, my college roommate, my parents, and my in-laws, are all laughing hysterically and nominating me for the "Understatement of the Year Award," let me continue.

I'm not an organized person, but on occasion I put effort into becoming one. In my head is a picture of myself idealized. That person that looks perfect every day, has an immaculately clean house, plans healthy tasty dinners every night, goes to the gym at least three times a week, and on and on and on.

But the real me has a messy house, is sitting on her couch in jeans and a Doctor Who t-shirt, is not wearing make-up, and is unsure whether or not she brushed her hair today. She's the same person that fed her husband Hamburger Helper for dinner last night, and will be feeding him fast food tonight. She also watches way too much TV, starts things that she never finishes, and has the sense of humor of the average fourteen year old boy.

I'm not entirely certain that the real me would even like the idealized me. But that doesn't stop me from from trying.

Recently, I decided to start using coupons. Not in the Extreme Couponing sense, (I work in a grocery store, extreme couponers seem to be a giant pain to me) but in the saving-a-couple-of-bucks-a-week-might-add-up sense. With the best of intentions, I flipped through the Sunday paper and clipped the coupons, filed them in a little box.

And promptly forgot about them.

Not to be put off, I decided to keep a coupon database to help me keep track of the coupons. I marvelled at my own brilliance. No more digging through the box thinking, "I could have sworn I had a coupon for sugar in here." So I diligently entered in the coupons, categorizing each one, checking expiration dates, amounts, and the fine print.

And promptly forgot about them.

Today, I went to enter more coupons into the data base, (about three week's worth--don't judge) and discovered that almost every coupon entered in there had expired. Sigh.

But, I'm going to try again. My babystep organization goal is to plan out menus, make lists, and grocery shop only once per week (even though this seems pointless now that I'm back at the grocery store and will be there several times a week). Hopefully, when I go to make my list, I will think to pull up the database and look for the coupons I actually will use.

Eventually, somethings gotta stick, right?

Project Talk: I Love Deadlines

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by."
                                                                                                                    (Douglas Adams)

First and foremost, anyone who is unfamiliar with the genius of British writer Douglas Adams, go and pick up a copy of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and read it.

Do it now. I'll wait.

Dear Old Dad

Recently, very recently, I have again found myself without a job*. I spent a lot of time preparing to be a teacher, securing a teaching job, and three weeks into said teaching job, it wasn't working out. I'm not going into details about it, what is done is done. Needless to say this has been an emotional time for me. Now I'm not sure where I want to go, what I want to do, or anything else. I'll be back at the grocery store trying to get my head properly aligned with the rest of my body for the time being.

Probably one of the hardest things about the whole thing was telling my parents. They've put a lot of faith and support in me, and I can't help but feel that they must be terribly disappointed in me. Bless their hearts, they didn't show it. And of course, have offered nothing but more support but it was hard to do.

Truthfully, my dad's reaction got me thinking. He didn't get emotional, didn't really ask questions. I think his reply was something along the lines of, "Well that's too bad, would you like a beer?" And we drank a beer and talked about football. That's my dad for you, he doesn't let things get him worked up, at least on the outside.

Perhaps this is more of the approach I should take on. In many ways, I try not to show emotion. I'm not good at it, so I tend to avoid emotional situations, and make inappropriate comments at inappropriate times. However, I do tend to dwell on things, which probably isn't the best way of dealing.

In reality, it can't be healthy to sit on the couch, watching Sportscenter (a new favorite of mine, I've discovered the joys of not just professional sports, but professional sports coverage, which bodes well for my general productivity), and wonder what went wrong. That's not going to change things, and it's not going to help shape the future. I have to get off the couch, turn off the TV and do something. Then again, I'm getting paid to do nothing this week, maybe next week is the week to start.

In no way, is this to say that I didn't appreciate my mother's reaction and support. She's the type of woman who will sit and cry with you, bring you lunch (and a chocolate coconut muffin), make all your favorite foods and take you to see the latest Brad Pitt movie. All of which was needed at that time. In reality I needed both her sympathy and my father's bluntness.

At any rate, it is what it is, it sucks, and it's done. Time to have a beer, take a shower, and ask myself what's next?

Thanks, dad.

*In all honesty, I'm not really without a job. I'm using paid time off for this week, and my first shift at the grocery store is bright and early Sunday morning.

And Then the Students Came...

Today was the first day of my school in my district (and, I'm pretty sure in every other public school district in the state). I went into things very nervous, it's hard to plan for the first day, especially when you don't know your students. My aides were in a tizzy, worrying about how we'd cover all of our students, which I'll admit, still has me worried. In short, we were all worked up and on each other's nerves.


And then the students came. When that happens, everything changes about a school. The focus shifts from the staff to the students, as it rightfully should. Everyone pitches in, does what is needed and comes through for the students. Yes, we're still worried about coverage, and I think we could better serve the students with just one more para, even just a half-time para would make things considerably easier. But, when the students come, everyone does what the students need, and things get done. In short, it was a great day.


I've been in the educational field long enough to know that not every day will go this smoothly. Staff will be overworked, stretched thin, and exhausted. The students will drive us crazy on some days. And we will undoubtedly get on each other's nerves. There will be days whens students melt down and nobody gets to eat lunch. That's just the nature of the beast. But today, we managed to do what was needed when it was needed. And that's a good thing.


Overall, the day was a huge success. I got to know much more about the abilities of the kiddos on my case load. Then I got another student added to my case load (isn't life fun). Things went the way they should, and better than I could have hoped as a new teacher. I'm anxious to get back and see how things are different tomorrow. It will be another light day, I'm not going to start pulling kids until after the long weekend. Right now, I'm just getting an idea where the kiddos are, and planning for when the real teaching work starts next week.


But I won't worry about all that right now. Right now, I'm going to pick up my knitting needles for the first time in a week, and enjoy.

School Before Students

Unless you're a teacher, you may never think about or experience what a school is like without the students. First and foremost, it is quiet, very quiet, eerily quiet, disturbingly quiet. And if you comment on this unnatural quiet, you will inevitably be told to "enjoy it while it lasts," which all in all is not bad advice.

New teacher orientation started last Thursday, and I feel like I've been going nonstop ever since then. First was a day and a half with all the other new teachers (twenty three of us in all). It was a lot of meeting new people, which I never am comfortable with, but I did alright. 

Then all the staff returned to work, which led to meeting more people on Friday afternoon. I got to meet the paraprofessionals that I will be working with, who, understandably were full of questions that I, understandably, did not have answers to.

Friday was followed by my last two days at the grocery store. The schedule had me down for two opening cash office shifts. The cash office is my favorite place to work, but I really would have used some time to sleep in. My last days at the grocery store passed with no fan fair, which after working there for six years, was a little disappointing. My grocery career is now over, I hope.

Monday morning brought me back to school for the staff kick off breakfast. It was vaguely reminiscent of the days of walking through the cafeteria, looking for a place to sit, but I found some soon enough. After breakfast was the official kick off program, where I had to stand up and be recognized as a new teacher (which I dislike), and a guest speaker, John Antonetti, who was surprisingly entertaining. I usually hate guest speakers at things like this, but he did a fantastic job. Then back to the school for some work in the classroom, which was followed by the never ending payroll and benefits meeting (don't get me wrong, I'm all for both pay and benefits, but this meeting was ridiculous).

Tuesday brought an all staff meeting at my school, where I had to stand up and introduce myself (which I really dislike) and more classroom time. A lot of that time was spent reading IEPs in the hopes of getting to know my students. Tuesday night brought our open house, which gave me the chance to meet students and parents, all but one and I have met the mother. This got me excited for the school year to begin.

Today, panic set in. Students are arriving tomorrow, and I feel in no way prepared for them. The next two days will be chaos, no matter how much more I prepare, but I'm hoping I have enough coverage figured out to get us through tomorrow and Friday. I'll use the long weekend to hammer out the schedule details and continue on from there. 

Tomorrow the halls will be filled with students, and I'm sure I will miss the quiet from the past few days. 

Project Talk: It's a Wrap

So, my invisibility wrap has been completed for some time now (done in enough time to wear to the wedding I wanted to). But I've been slacking on getting the photos off of my camera and getting them posted, both on here and on Ravelry. I wish I could say it was because I was super busy doing something super wonderful, but alas, I've pretty much just been lazy (and no, I haven't written up that sock pattern yet, either). Though the past couple of weeks have been a little bit crazy, it is still mostly laziness.

 So here are, as promised, photos of the wrap:



There are a couple from a photo shoot outside, one showing the length, and one showing more detail. Both shot while hanging from my porch railing. I'm still looking for good places to photograph my finished projects.


And a final couple of photos from the wedding, where you can see the wrap in actual action. It was a hit at the wedding. It looked great with the dress and got a ton of compliments. However, the wedding was outdoors, in July, in Wisconsin, and there was no real need for any kind of wrap. Plus the alpaca and silk blend is warmer than I ever thought a thin little thread couple be. This is actually a common mistake for me with lace, I forget, because it is lightweight and full of holes, that it can be warm. And let me assure you, it can be.

One of the few time a pic of my bum will
be posted, believe me.

With the exception of an extra large hole in one column, I am happy with how this piece turned out. At first I was less than pleased with the bead placement. I imagined them more sporadically placed and not in the rows, but I've adjusted to that and moved on. The yarn is beautiful and transitions from light to dark grey and will look great with a variety of colors. The beads add just the right amount of sparkle to the piece. It is big enough to work as a wrap, but also light enough to wear as a scarf. The length is enough to wrap around my neck a couple time or loop around my head and then wrap around my neck like a cowl in the cold. It will be a great addition to my wardrobe and hopefully, get a lot of use.

When It Rains, It Pours

It's been a time of celebration in my household. After a year and a half of searching, applying, interviewing, and rejection, I have finally landed a teaching job! A real, actual, full time with benefits, in charge of my own classroom, teaching job. A true to the whirlpool that is my life, it all happened very quickly and at the absolute last possible minute.


After a soul-crushing number of interviews, and an equally soul-crushing review of my interview skills with the Director of Pupil Services at one of the districts where I sub, I was seriously at the point of giving up on a teaching career. There was some amount of allure in a mindless sort of 40 hour per week job. And as I'm pushing 30, the lack of retirement was getting scarier and scarier.  I began searching for other jobs in the area that might be willing to hire a currently underemployed teacher.  However, I still searched for teaching jobs, kept an eye on the market and occasionally applied for the posted jobs.


It the past couple of weeks, I have applied for four teaching jobs. A couple of days after applying for one, I got an email setting up an interview for the next week. I ended up having to shift my entire work schedule around to make it, but I did go in for the interview. Despite (or maybe due to) the cruel frank review of my interview skills, I decided to go in swinging for the fences (I know, I'm not a baseball fan, but none of the sports I actually follow have as good of a metaphor). My husband recommended that I go in with my customer service attitude (after 6 years in the local grocery store, I've had to smile at and chat with a lot of people, ones I liked and others, not so much). I left the interview feeling pretty good, but didn't want to get my hopes up.


On my way to that interview, another of the schools I applied to called to set up another last minute interview. They were looking for a long-term sub for a semester in a position that could turn into a full-time position. And the school was on the fringe of the commuter radius I established at the start of this never ending job search. Not ideal, but better than nothing, and they were willing to interview me on a day I had off from the store.


The following day, I had a pretty good omen. The school I had interviewed at called one of my references. Well, that's a step farther than I had gotten on a lot of these interviews. Again, I didn't want to get my hopes up, but they were starting to rise.


The next day rolled around, and the interview at the second school. I didn't feel that one went nearly as well, but the drive sucked and it was only for a semester, so I didn't get too upset about it. What I did start to get upset about was the fact that I hadn't heard from the first school. I was feeling pretty down, but then a call from the third school raised my spirits.


Then, it happened. The first school called back and said they were recommending me for the position. I needed to come in for what they called a "second interview" with the school superintendent. I was worried about this second interview, even though the teachers I talked to made it sound more like a formality. Not wanting to jinx anything, but feeling pretty confident, I told a select group of friends and relatives (that's right, feel honored if you were in that group).  


The weekend passed. Before setting up the second interview, I heard back from school number 2 (the interview I thought I bombed). Apparently, they also wanted to hire me for the long term sub job. I'm not going to lie, that one shocked me. The school needed an answer right away, so I took a bit of a gamble and told them I had already accepted another job (hoping that it was indeed a formality). Of course, the second interview was scheduled at the same time as the interview for the third school, so I had to take another risk and cancel the interview at the third school (really, really hoping that it was a mere formality).


And yesterday, I went into my second interview. Believe me, I breathed a sigh of relief when some of the superintendent's first words to me were, "The committee recommended you for the position, so I'm going to recommend you." After a chat with him, I had an actual teaching job. An actual teaching job where orientation started in only two days, with students starting school in only eight total days (see what I mean about the last possible moment?).


Despite the rush of all of it, I thrilled to have this job. The school district has a wonderful reputation and everyone that I've met seems to be friendly and helpful.  I alternate between that feeling of elation and the feeling of terror when I think about being in charge of a classroom, a caseload of students, and two paraprofessionals in a little more than a week.


I'll be teaching, at the elementary level, students with severe disabilities. I've visited my school, and seen my classroom. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that both are beautiful. I have access to a wide variety of technology and professionals to help my students. Starting tomorrow, I'm looking at nine days straight of work (this weekend will be my last weekend at the grocery store), but I'm excited about it. We will see how I feel after two days of orientation, two days in the grocery store cash office (yuppers, 5:30 am shifts for my last days), three days of in-service, an open house for parents, and two days of students.


Wish me luck as I embark on this (hopefully) wonderful new journey!